Slow Cow Meets Red Bull

I confess that never understood the allure of energy drinks. I tried a couple but, to me they kind of tasted like a mix of Coke and Buckley's Mixture so, I just didn't see the point.

While I was in the UK a few months back I saw deals on drinks like Jagerbombs - Jagermeister and Red Bull - as well as Rockstar and vodka advertised in pubs. I remember thinking, "I can't imagine why we need a bunch of wide awake drunks rolling out of the bars at 2:00 am"

Now, I read in the Globe & Mail this morning, that we are about to see drinks designed to have the opposite effect. There are a number of new drinks about to hit the Canadian market that are designed to relax us. With names like Slow Cow, Drank and Mary Jane's Relaxing Soda they claim to be "Out to help those looking for a quick relaxation fix...an acupuncture session" I have never tasted it but someone on-line suggested that "It smells exactly like Dimetapp and looks like a melted Popsicle."

Perhaps the next thing will be bars where you can either get a kind of hyper buzz with Rock Star and vodka or order a Slow Brown Cow, kahlua, half a can of Slow Cow topped with milk then, nod off in the corner. It all kind of reminds me of "A Clockwork Orange."

Perhaps a more sinister aspect of all this is that in the southern U.S. a mix of a strong codeine cough medicine, Sprite as well as sometimes vodka, popular in Houston based hip hop and southern rap circles is called purple drank. The concoction has become hugely popular. At least a couple of rappers have died of codeine overdoes.

The new Drank about to be released in Canada is in marketed in purple cans and promoted using hip hop artists.

Hell, if they want people to relax why no just legalize the real Mary Jane?

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