|Cancel the Saturday Restaurant Reservation|
Eighty eight year old Harold Camping says he has developed a mathematical system to interpret prophecies hidden within the Bible. He says with certainty, “The world will end May 21, 2011. These dates can be trusted entirely because they come right out of the Bible. “
Thousands believe Camping and are confident that early Saturday believers will, suddenly without warning, disappear from Earth in the "twinkling of an eye."
That creates some interesting situations;
What about those people’s pets? Surely the good people who are going to leave the rest of us and go directly to heaven, wouldn’t leave their poor cats, dogs, hamsters, pot bellied pigs and snakes starve? Of course not.
Someone has set up Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA.. The company guarantees that when the Rapture comes, for the small fee of $135.00, in advance of course, the owner or one of his 44 contractors in 26 states will drive to your home within 24 hours, collect your dog, cat, bird, rabbit or small caged mammal, and adopt it. He has carefully screened all the rescuers. The contractors have to love animals, of course, but just as important is that they don't love Jesus. So for obvious reasons, they're all atheists.
Would it be ok I if, tonight after our customary visit to The Buskwakker we cruised through “good” neighbourhoods looking for signs that residents had been spirited away, so to speak? Could we just move in to their houses make ourselves a snack or help ourselves to their big screen television sets? I wonder.
Assuming I guess that restaurant chefs were among those who were going to be called to heaven on Saturday Elizabeth Gunnison writing for Esquire magazine asked some notable American chefs “Of all the dishes that you've made in your lifetime, what's the one that you want to be remembered for? They came up with some interesting and eclectic choices. Everything from fish and chips, shrimp alhinho made with olive oil, garlic, coriander and pimenton — complete with the pressed jus from the shrimp heads, Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes, and bone marrow and oxtail marmalade. You can read the whole list here.
I don’t know. It has become a pretty weird world. The one thing I am pretty confident about is that next week there should still be enough of us left to have a good sized group at floor hockey.